POKEYMANS thread

Shrapnel · Post by **Shrapnel** » Wed Jan 16, 2013 2:28 pm

I always thought it was because of the fact that she has an incestous relationship with her invisible father.

Shrapnel · Post by **Shrapnel** » Wed Jan 16, 2013 3:22 pm

Speaking of invisible incest, I present here, for your edification, the HISTORY OF UNOVA, PART... TWOO(sic)

So, for those that may or may not remember, Vera was the hero of Unova that what drove away Alder and his merry band of wrongness.

Two years later (which, on Unova, means it was actually twenty to the tenth power years later, give or take a month for inflation), Vera had settled down from the whole "chosen heroine" shtick, got married, and became more June Cleaver than even June Cleaver could ever hope to be. She also changed her look to look like Morrigan from DarkStalkers on weekdays, and Ivy from Soul Calibur on weekends. She kept the bitchin' hat though.

Anyway, she had married Iris, last of the Dragon Clan, the leaders of the original Batsuregans. I didn't go over this in the first Unova bit, so I'll go over it here.

Iris was found as a baby by Mayor Trapjaw, who was one of Alder's most trusted generals. Trapjaw had found her in a Batsuregan village that he and his cronies had been sacking. Upon seeing the yound babe, Trapjaw was overcome with an overwhelming desire to protect it. So, he swaddled it in Swadloon corpses, and carried it away. He felt responsible for it, since he had killed her parents and all. And so he raised her as his own child, and she called him "Grampa". Just 'cause.

Now, the thing about Trapjaw, other than that he wrestled his Pokemon in the nude and all oiled up, is that he had misgivings about Alder and his regime. So he raised the young lass according to ancient Batsuregan customs, which he looked up by using a Google app he downloaded onto his beard. He raised her so she could overthrow Alder. And then some punk came along and did it for her. Jerk.

Anyway, back to the present, Vera married Iris, and they had a child through unknown and probably impossible means*. This child they named Vivian, they did.

Iris went on to become Champion of the new Elite Four (after Alder's defeat, the Elite Four was reformatted by Unicron into a Justice League type organization that is dedicated to protecting Unova), and Vera stayed at home being a super-MILF June Cleaver, raising Vivian.

For some reason, Vera never told Vivian that Iris was her mother, and Iris conveniently forgot.

(The following translated from Batsuregan)

Vivian was raised by her mother, the stories of the youth as a coach. He wanted to travel around the world and catch the Pokemon. So you got a Genesect, and God said. "Go fuck some shit".

And, therefore, has traveled the world, leading to Hall, plasma, command and, finally, defeat the Elite Four. Said Vivian became a legend, and, therefore.

This is not a story (or, THE END).

*hissy ທໍາອິດແມ່ນແລ້ວ, ຂ້າພະເຈົ້າຮູ້ກ່ຽວກັບແນວໂນ້ມຂອງ. ຂ້າພະເຈົ້າຄິດວ່າມັນເປັນ funny, nes Vivian ບໍ່ໄດ້ແລ້ວວິທີນັ້ນ.

or

(Hissy first Yes, I know about the trend. I think it's funny, because Vivian is not meant that way.)

or

(Yes, I know about parthenogenesis, before you get hissy. And Vivian was not conceived this way, because I think it's funny.)

If you don't like it, then vaffanculo e succhiare un barile di cazzi.

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Wed Jan 23, 2013 2:35 am

So, I just got to the Pokemon World Championship part of White 2.

I expected it to be the now-usual "pick 3 pokemon, their level is set to 50, no xp, have "fun.""

But... no... I'm using level 40+ pokemon against my rival's 20-somethings...

I um. kind of feel bad.

Darth Rabbitt · Post by **Darth Rabbitt** » Wed Jan 23, 2013 2:44 am

When you enter the first time it doesn't use the standard rules (which are the ones you mentioned.)

IIRC if you enter again afterwards they set it to the standard ones.

Which is a shame, I was hoping for Heart Gold/Soul Silver style Gym Leader rematches in the tournament, perhaps with an option for the "3 Pokemon, level 50, no XP, no legendaries (except for Lati@s, mysteriously,) FINAL DESTINATION" that you get afterwards.

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Wed Jan 23, 2013 2:53 am

ah, bullshit.

Shrapnel · Post by **Shrapnel** » Wed Jan 23, 2013 10:44 pm

The "Battle Frontier" type things have never, ever, ever brought any good to the universe.

Koumei · Post by **Koumei** » Thu Jan 24, 2013 12:06 am

Shrapnel wrote:The "Battle Frontier" type things have never, ever, ever brought any good to the universe.

This a million times. Even though I do like the B2W2 cage match thing with the announcer, pyrotechnics (that are oddly mechanical, not caused by chaining Cyndaquil's up and prodding them with sticks) and all. I can just picture JR and King* commentating. "OH MY GOD, THE OUTRAGE! OUTRAGE! GARCHOMP HAS OUTRAGE LOCKED IN, IT'S ALL OVER, RING THE DAMN BELL!"

It's a real shame it doesn't just do the HGSS thing, I'd love to just be able to go and slap all the gym leaders about. Or even just chill with Giovanni over a pokebeer**.

*I know the cage deal is more of a MMA/UFC thing, shut up

**Presumably made by killing and fermenting Foongus

Shrapnel · Post by **Shrapnel** » Tue Feb 12, 2013 2:38 pm

I NEED TO GET THE REGI'S, BUT THEY SO FUCKING HARD TO FIND. GARG!

Koumei · Post by **Koumei** » Wed Feb 13, 2013 12:35 am

I transferred the Regis from Diamond. They're really easy to find in that one, just wander around in the grass right outside the daycare.

I mean, this assumes you're using an Action Replay, and thus any patch of grass will work, but yeah.

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Wed Feb 13, 2013 12:52 am

Magazine Coro Coro has revealed a new pokemon:

Apparently it's a new eevee evolution, though its type and evolution method are secret. If I had to guess, I'd say it'll be normal, and evolve through leveling while holding a bow item.

Shrapnel · Post by **Shrapnel** » Wed Feb 13, 2013 1:04 am

Hey, that thing's hot.

Man, Gen IV is shaping up to be the sexiest looking game so far. I mean, the female trainer is smokin', and Fennekin, the Fire starter, is pretty sexypants, too.

edit: Oh, and Koumei, you taunt me with your Action Replay and promises of free Braille cookies.

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Wed Feb 13, 2013 1:59 am

That picture is an only barely sexed up fanart from deviant art.

(Stupid autocorrect)

Shrapnel · Post by **Shrapnel** » Wed Feb 13, 2013 2:22 am

I know it's fan art. The real thing is sexysauce, too.

I've seen the images in Coro Coro myself. I masterbated to it. Was that too much info? Ah, I don't care.

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Wed Feb 13, 2013 2:55 am

Look, lets not invite the dogrape topic again...

Shrapnel · Post by **Shrapnel** » Wed Feb 13, 2013 2:59 am

I always thought Eevee and it's evolutions were foxes, but alright...

...prude...

OgreBattle · Post by **OgreBattle** » Wed Feb 13, 2013 4:44 am

Eevee's based off of Nausicaa's pet in Nausicaa

Shrapnel · Post by **Shrapnel** » Wed Feb 13, 2013 2:22 pm

Ah. Well, learn something new everyday, like they say.

Shrapnel · Post by **Shrapnel** » Tue Feb 26, 2013 2:08 am

So, one thing that's pissed me off for about two gen's is the fact that Spiritomb is like near impossible to catch. In Gen IV, you had to find an item called the Odd Keystone, go to the Underground (the multi-player gimmick area for Gen IV games), talk to 32 people (or the same person 32 times), then bring it to some place on Route 209 in order to summon Spiritomb.

In HG/SS, it was made slightly easier by the fact that you don't need to use the multiplayer thing to get it: You just had to walk like thirty billion miles on the Pokewalker to get it.

Now, in Black2/White2, you have to call some dude (or Dudette) on the Xtransceiver FIFTY times, then you get a RANDOM chance to trade for it once per day (other times you get some other Pokemon that isn't a Spiritomb.) Oh, and you don't get the dude's (or Dudette's) number: You can only call them at random and/or preset times of the day (I am unsure if you can only call them at certain times, or if it is random.)

Fucking Spiritomb.

Koumei · Post by **Koumei** » Tue Feb 26, 2013 3:45 am

I didn't even cheat for Spiritomb in Diamond. Well I mean, I used two DSes right next to each other and met my Pearl character all those times and all, but yeah, I didn't use the AR.

Also, it's not actually random. There are specific locations, and you can keep wandering around, Flying from place to place, trying them until you can call him/her, and do multiple calls per day until you do the fifty and can trade. Then it's one successful call per day. Also it's post-game only.

That said, the one you receive isn't random, it cycles through a list of them. There are small differences on what is available based on their sex (and thus, your sex). I think Spiritomb might actually be one of the ones that depends on sex. Er, that is only available to one sex.

Also, all of their trades have the Hidden Ability. For Spiritomb, that means you trade Pressure (kind of average, but for a defensive build it's okay if overused) for, IIRC, Infiltrator (which isn't very useful). Not that I was expecting Wonder Guard, but come on, they could have given it something decent like Prankster or Synchro.

Shrapnel · Post by **Shrapnel** » Tue Feb 26, 2013 4:03 am

Actually, I've looked, and Spiritomb will have sex with either the male trainer or female trainer, so there's that, at least.

I still want to know why the player has jump through so many hoops to get the damn ball of gaseous cuteness in the first place.

Fucking adorable rapemuffin Spiritomb.

OgreBattle · Post by **OgreBattle** » Tue Feb 26, 2013 7:19 am

Here's a Pikachu I made out of playdoh years ago

http://andylc.deviantart.com/art/I-made ... -352688689

Shrapnel · Post by **Shrapnel** » Tue Feb 26, 2013 3:07 pm

That thing is adorable.

Darth Rabbitt · Post by **Darth Rabbitt** » Tue Feb 26, 2013 3:49 pm

That's really well made for something made out of Play-doh.

OgreBattle · Post by **OgreBattle** » Wed Mar 27, 2013 12:27 pm

http://art-eater.com/2013/01/the-world- ... d-pokemon/

Article I wrote up on the overarching theme of the Pokemon games 'Conflict'

Shrapnel · Post by **Shrapnel** » Thu Mar 28, 2013 9:55 pm

That reminds me...

I beat White Tree Hollow; Benga gave me a shiny Dratini. FUCK YES.

I finally fill-out the Unova Pokedex by seeing every Pokemon. I get a Permit that allows me to go to a place called the Nature Preserve. In said Preserve is a shiny, interactable Haxsauros (or whatever). I catch it. FUCK YES.

The point: SHINY POKEMON FUCKING KICK ASS.